Sunday, March 13, 2011

Day Seventy-Two: Under Pressure

Yesterday, Ian bought some shrimp and crab salad, which we didn't have until today. Well--he had it. Which is weird, because I've had crab salad before (did I blog about that? sometimes I have more than one thing-I-don't-like in a day and they don't all make it onto the blog) and I actually enjoyed it. It was hardly any different from chicken salad, except the meat was moister. But today, as I stared that bowl of shrimp and crab salad, I couldn't do it. I took only one bite, which took maybe a minute to chew and swallow. Then Ian finished the rest and the cat mooched for leftovers. I was a little ashamed. I left my goal unattained.

However, tonight we did go to our favorite bar in town, My Office (ha ha, right?), and the special was fish and chips. So I got that. And I did have the one mouthful of the shrimp and crab salad. But for some reason, I just didn't have the resolve I've had on other days. I've been super stressed lately. I'm inclined to blame that. But really, this whole resolution has contributed to the stress as much as anything, so it's a bit of a vicious circle. I have not had a day in over two months when I ate only what I wanted to eat. It's a strange experiment, and a bit disorienting. Plus, it adds two more items to every day's to-do list. 1) Eat something I don't like, and 2) Blog about it. I guess I didn't think that would seem like so much pressure.

I'm getting to the point in the blog where I have to push to find things I don't like. This whole thing has been about pushing limits, but it's about to get absurd. I'm past pickiness, really, and into the realm of commonly disliked foods--foods many people would never eat. I'm getting to the point where I need to eat escargot and entrails, as well as various slimy sea creatures. I find myself wishing, occasionally, that I didn't like marshmallows or coffee or something easy like that. But I still wouldn't like them. It would still be tough. My logic is losing steam.

On the plus side, I've really done a number on my fish aversion--there are actually fish dishes that appeal to me now--and most of my non-fish aversions have been absolutely obliterated. In fact, I might go have a little cup of rice pudding right now, just because I can. Don't judge me for comfort eating.

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