This morning, I went back to an old nemesis. Sure, it seems innocuous enough. It's probably one of the least threatening food items you'll ever have. Hospital patients eat it every morning. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I speak of oatmeal. Or, as I like to call it, horse food.
You see, no matter what I try to do to oatmeal (in this morning's case, adding maple syrup and raisins, on other occasions various sugars and milk products) I have never been able to push it past barely palatable. I know it has good fiber and all that rubbish (though I'm sure the processed stuff I usually have is less healthy than it tastes) but it just doesn't charm me. In fact, it's a little like eating glue. Which is funny because that brings the phrase "horse food" to a much more morbid level. (Glue factories...horses...if you watch old movies, you probably get it.) Anyway, it's oats. It fills the stomach and nourishes the body. If I could ever finish a bowl of it (I usually fall asleep midway through, it's that boring) I might get up and run the Kentucky Derby. Like the number of licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world may never know.